It's not the first time I made a client cry

Don’t Hold Back Those Tears

I’ve now been counseling individuals for over a decade.

For roughly five years, I was a Career Counselor for university students, helping them prepare and apply for job opportunities like internships and full-time roles after graduation.

Over the last five years, I’ve worked as a Small Business Counselor, helping business owners here in NC launch, grow, scale and optimize their businesses.

But despite the job titles, I can assure you, there’s a lot more going on than just conversations about these people’s jobs.

Within the first month as a Career Counselor at UNC Wilmington, I was jokingly chastised for making a girl cry.

No, no, no, it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

She opened up about feeling so lost about her major. And I could tell she was feeling external pressure to follow through with a choice her parents imparted on her.

As the tears started rolling…

We talked through it, and after she let it all out, she felt “much better” being honest with herself.

Fast forward to recent years, as we worked with a few select businesses through our Business Accelerator program. While many had joined to scale their business, we had folks who were working through the challenges COVID brought on.

At work, our team has a motto:

“We’re in the Business of Changing Lives.”

Sure, day-to-day we’re helping people with their businesses. But ultimately, we’re impacting their livelihood.

Just this week, I had a conversation with a gentlemen who had an amazing story of overcoming adversity in his life. He’s using his life experience to help couples build stronger, more open and honest relationships.

Then he opened up about his injury, his honorable discharge from the military, and how it has impacted his ability to provide for his family.

I listened. I heard. I validated.

Having suffered a herniated disc and nearly-paralyzing sciatica nearly my entire time in college, I know all too well how limiting that specific type of injury can be.

He lost it.

I can only assume – because of the weight he was carrying, and someone was able to finally feel it with him.

Remember, everybody in this world has the same two, basic needs.

Making people cry isn’t something I seek out. Not explicitly.

But when I do, I know I’ve gotten somewhere. I know that the person has been holding something in long enough, and felt safe enough, to share that thing with me.

And that’s the first step towards real, honest growth.

Let’s Hear from You

Are there moments when you feel like someone has something more to say but is resisting saying it?

Do you ever feel yourself wondering if there’s more to the story?

Are you giving yourself permission to dig deeper with someone you care about?

Sometimes just calling out: “Tell me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like there’s something more here.” or “Is there something else on your mind that you want to share?” could be helpful in allowing the other person to feel safe enough to expose a part of them that they’ve been shielding.

I’d love to hear your experience with digging deep and what outcome this led to, for you or for others.

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See ya next week!

🥯 Bagel 🥯